Mending Tamaki - Chapter 7

Later that same night Tamaki was once again alone. After much talk and frolics the former hosts had left on Kyoya's orders with promises of returning the following day. Now it was unbearably quiet and Tamaki's mind was no longer distracted.

"where are you?" Kyoya noticed the far away look in Tamaki's eyes.

"Kyoya please don't leave me alone tonight. I promise to give you your space and be out of here tomorrow but... Just tonight will you stay?" Tamaki asked distractedly.

"Don't be a moron. You aren't going anywhere." Kyoya said firmly, snapping Tamaki out of his daze.

"What?" Tamaki stared wide eyed.

"Do you honestly think I could allow you to go back? After seeing you like this? No self respecting man could do such a thing Suoh."

"Y-you have to Kyoya...She'll..." Tamaki took deep breaths in an attempt keep calm, "I need money and if you help she'll make life hell for you and for your fathers company too!"

"I'm Kyoya Ootori" Kyoya's glasses flashed dangerously, "I'd like to see her try"

Tamaki shook his head and opened his mouth to argue but Kyoya interrupted him.

"No arguments Tamaki I am making you a partner in my company and you're going to live with me so I can look out for you"

"I'm not going to be able to convince you am I" Tamaki sighed and closed his eyes.

"This is non negotiable." Kyoya confirmed and Tamaki opened his eyes again.


"Okay..." He mumbled,"I'll stay..."

"Good...Now let's stop all this sentimental rubbish it's making me sick. You need to eat." Kyoya smiled slightly.

"Before we do...Thank you. Thank you for rescuing me. For not telling them. For helping me to cry. I needed to cry" Tamaki smiled briefly.

"It was nothing at all Tamaki now forget it" Kyoya stood and went to get food organised. When he returned he found Tamaki was asleep.

Tamaki woke hours later and found Kyoya asleep beside him. He carefully sat up and looked around groggily. He saw a tray with some crackers and simple foods. Kyoya obviously knew what he needed. Almost. Reaching into his pocket he felt what he was looking for. He looked down at the tiny pill sized parcel containing certain crystals. He looked at Kyoya then back at the packet. Then he quickly swallowed the package, washing it down with the glass of water Kyoya had brought on the tray.

"Mmmph... Do you think that wise Tamaki?" Kyoya's groggy voice made Tamaki jump.

"Kyoya... I thought you were...well I guess you would work it out quick enough." Tamaki bit his lip.

"yes I would have so you may as well tell me what you took" Kyoya sat up and put his glasses on.

"It was in my pocket and I thought one last time..." Tamaki explained "I had it to get me through the appointment I had tonight. It's ecstasy."

"Ecstasy? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"I've done it before and it's from the same batch. I'm safe enough. Please understand Kyoya it's just this last time"

"I understand. I don't like it one bit but I understand." Kyoya sighed "besides you've taken it. What can be done now?"

"True. It won't kick in for about half an hour anyway" Tamaki got up on unsteady feet.

"Look at you. You can't stand as it is" Kyoya helped him.

"I'm just tired. Won't be soon." Tamaki managed a forced smile.

They moved to the main part of the hotel suite where there was a TV and watched nothing in particular until Tamaki suddenly turned it off and turned to look at Kyoya.

"Okay...while I'm feeling like this I wanna tell you something."

"Feeling like what?" Kyoya studied his eyes and saw his pupils were dialating.

"Like everything is perfect." Tamaki grinned, "But let me get this out okay? I'll listen to you after I promise. Really listen. I just feel like I could talk to you about anything right now."

"Okay. I'm listening" Kyoya was curious as to what effect the drug was having.

"Well the thing is... Part of why I chose to...Do what I did...Was because I was already damaged goods. There was nothing worth saving so why not make more money? I needed the money."

"what are you saying?" Kyoya asked quietly.

"You know I mentioned that guy who suggested I take on guys? Well he organised a trial for me. Turned out it wasn't a    trial. It was a set up. There was a group waiting instead of one guy. There were too many of them. I couldn't fight. They each did what they wanted and then left me to whatever my fate would be." Tamaki shrugged, "After that I hardly cared about whether someone used me or not"

"That's crap. I know you too well. Being raped must've nearly killed you."

"No Kyoya. It did kill me. That's what I'm telling you. I was dead inside. I didn't care. Each time I took someone on I went through it again and died a little more. That's why I wanted to run from you. I didn't want to remember and I didn't want to hurt you. I'm not the same person anymore."

"Now it all makes sense. It all makes sense." Kyoya murmured thoughtfully.

"I'm glad you see it" Tamaki smiled "makes it much easier."

"So... That's all of it?"

"Yes my best friend in the entire universe" Tamaki nodded, "now do you really want to be mixed up in all of it? I'm not going to be like you remember. I can only tell you this now because I'm high as a kite and nothing can hurt me right now. Tomorrow I'll be a complete mess again. I'll be cutting again. That's the reality of my life right now and I don't know if it will change"

"it seems to me like a challenge. I never have backed away from a challenge since a complete moron told me I could take on any challenge and be whoever I wanted to be." Kyoya smirked.

"Okay...well you have been warned mon ami" Tamaki laughed and to Kyoya's surprised glomped him, "God I love you so much right now."


"That would be the drug" Kyoya noted but it was almost like he had Tamaki Suoh back.

"Yes and no...Now come on I feel like dancing! We need music! Come dance with me Kyoya!" Tamaki bounded over to the sound system and put on the most upbeat, bass heavy music he could find.

"I don't dance Tamaki" Kyoya protested as Tamaki pulled him up. Nothing would deter Tamaki though. He danced as if the music had him in a total trance and in a way it did. Eyes closed, smile plastered on his face. He was completely blissed out.

"Oh this is just...Kyoya I wish you could feel this" Tamaki sighed happily as he flopped next to Kyoya on the lounge he'd retreated to.

"You're not sleeping anytime soon are you" Kyoya put down his book.

"I dunno... How long has it been?"

"About four hours. It's 3am."

"No wonder I'm starting to come down." Tamaki grimaced "I really don't wanna come down."

"I'm afraid you must at some point" Kyoya adjusted his glasses.

"yeah I know."

"Tamaki while you still feel like you do...Was it torture every time?"

"well...It's hard to explain...There are certain things that will feel good whether you want it to or not. You still feel dirty though. Very very dirty." Tamaki looked down at his hands.

The conversation moved on and as time passed Tamakk got less talkative and his expression dissolved slowly to a far less happy one.

"You look exhausted" Kyoya observed, "How about getting some sleep"

Tamaki nodded and allowed Kyoya to help him back to bed. Once Tamaki was safely asleep, Kyoya quietly left and shut himself in the shower. With the water drowning out the sound he let himself finally let out the tears he'd refused to shed in Tamaki's presence. There were an awful lot waiting to be shed.